And One for Plain Ketchup

And One for Plain Ketchup

            Today, we drank beer.  We drank a lot of beer.  Munich is famous for its many beer houses (Bräuhaus).  It is where Oktoberfest is held every year.  We decided to sample Munich’s many fine brews. 

            Before going to the beer places, we went to a Chinese place for lunch.  We were desperate for a change from pizza and pasta, the cheapest and most easily accessible non-McDonalds foods.  It was actually fucking phenomenal.  Real Chinese food in Munich, who knew?  We had a beer with it.  It was called Dunkel.  You can find beer descriptions in a table at the bottom of this blog entry, before Will’s Corner.  They’ll be easier to find that way.  Also, I like tables (SCIENCE!).

             After that, we went to our first Brauhaus, Weisses Brauhaus.  Here, we had a whole lot of beers.  We sat down next to a British expat, as we are wont to do.  We didn’t know that he was beforehand.  They just attract us, I guess.  Like magnets.  We chatted with him for a bit, and then he left.

            Lo and behold, more English speaking people joined us in our little corner of the brauhaus.  It was a bunch of Canadians, including one named Ozzy.  Ozzy was a tour guide who had lived pretty much everywhere, but currently lived in Munich.  He was super friendly.  He also immediately identified me as a Jew from New York.  This is strange; most people can’t place me.  Oddly enough, he couldn’t place Will, which disturbed Ozzy deeply.

            We talked with him for a while, and an American lady comes and asks if she can join us.  She’s pretty young looking, probably not old enough to have a child older than ten.  She puts her bag down and leaves.  A few minutes later, two girls join us, each about 20 years old.  They look completely unrelated (one’s blonde, one’s a red-head, and they have no features in common).  The lady then comes back, and she doesn’t look like either of them.  It turns out she’s their mother, and they’re both sisters.  What the fuck?  Ozzy, Will, and I were really confused.

            We had a few beers with them.  Will and the mom got along really well, talking about the military, history, and other stuff (I wasn’t really listening).  One of the two girls was going into animal/human physical therapy, so she and I nerded out about medicine.  It was fun.  Basically, we just kept drinking beer and hanging out.  All day. 

            At one point, a German couple started laughing at me.  I had ordered a super hoppy beer, and it came in a bottle.  The glass it came with was very small, but it came with a 0.5 liter bottle.  They asked, “Why is it so small?”  “Because it comes with a bottle of MORE!” I replied, showing them the bottle.  “Ahhhh.”  Good times.

Eventually, we left.  We had ordered one last beer, but the beer-maiden said that Ozzy had paid for it before we left (he had left about five minutes before).  We had no idea he had paid.  He’s a hero.  Will and I wandered around for a bit, then settled into an outdoor beer garden.  We each had one more beer and shared a pretzel. 

            After that beer garden, we started walking home.  Soon, we realized that we were hungry.  We realized that we were near an Italian place that Mr. Kindle recommended.  We sat down and an old German man came up to us.  He started talking in German.

Man:  (German German German)!

Me:  Uh…sprechen sie English?

Man:  Nein.

Me:  …Pale Italiano?

Man:  Si, un piccolo.

Me:  PERFETTO.

            He and I got along really well after that.  By “un piccolo,” he meant that he spoke it pretty much perfectly.  Will and I had the easiest time we’ve had ordering food and getting the check in a very long time.  Also, I am convinced that this dude lived in Italy for a while.  The food was fucking awesome.  It tasted like Italian food from Italy.  I had tagliatelle with some sort of crazy tomato sauce and fresh mozzarella cheese.  Will had fettucini bolognese. 

            After dinner, we went back to the hostel and fell asleep, happy and full.  BEER TABLE TIME! 

Table 1:  Beer!

Name	Who Drank It	Description
Dunkel (unknown brand)	Both of us	Dark, but doesn’t feel as heavy as the color would suggest.  Faint taste of a stout, but you can smell the stoutness.  Good with a meal, not at a bar.
Schneider Weisse Mein Blondes	Will	“Refreshing, like a dance in a summer breeze.”  Light blonde ale, standard.  Comparable to Shock Top.
Schneider Weisse Unser Original	Andy	“Full complexity of the genuine Bavarian wheat beer.  Great with hearty food.”  Medium body.  Tasty.
Schneider Weisse Mein Kristall.	Will	“Refreshing for body and soul with a delightful tingle.”  Heavily wheaty, small citrus flavor, light body.
Schneider Weisse Mein Hopfenweisse	Andy	“Hoppy fireworks.” Strong.  Medium body.  Super hoppy aftertaste, good hoppy flavor.
Tergernseer Hell	Will	“Malt-accented beer with a slight note of hops.  Classical south Bavarian pale lager from the Tergernseer Valley.”  Tastes like fucking Keystone.  Will’s own personal hell.  I confirmed the taste.
Bräugirgl Dunkel	Andy	“Chestnut colored beer from the Karmeliten Brauerei Straubing.  Malty, spicy specialty with fine roast flavors.”  You can taste the chestnut and the roast flavors.  Medium-heavy body.  Roasty aftertaste.  Good.
Aventinus Dunkel Hefeweissen	Both of us.	Strong, rich, medium-heavy body.  Spicy.
??????	Both of us.	???  We don’t remember.  It was that last one we had.

 Delicious German Keystone.

Will’s Corner

            Apparently, we’re like magnets for English-speaking people.  Miracles all up in these magnets.

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Dear Joe,

            Cocaine and Thai hookers.  Get it done.

Love,

Will and Andy