And One for Eagle Warriors
The first thing we did in Bruges was book hostels in London and Dublin. We tried to be smarter than last time and book ahead in the two busiest countries. We didn’t book for Paris because we thought we might be able to stay with either Lizzie or Camille/Clotilde or something.
For breakfast, we tried to go to a restaurant called Medard that Mr. Kindle recommended. It was supposed to be the cheapest place in town. That’s probably why it was booked until 15:00. We made a dinner reservation for 18:00, then started walking over to a pancake place called Breton Pannekoeken or something along those lines.
Kelsey, this is where you are sad. Will had a pancake filled with coconut and vanilla ice cream, sitting in a pool of Bailey’s Irish Cream Liqueur. It was apparently delicious, and it was salted only by your tears.
While sitting in the Pannekoeken, we saw Walker from the previous night! He was sitting with a red-headed British girl named Ema (yes, one “M”). We talked with them a little, and then they left, saying they’d probably see us again at the Le Garre, a famous brewery / pub in Bruges. We left soon after and headed towards Le Garre.
Le Garre is VERY difficult to find. The locals say you can’t miss it. I call bullshit, since everyone does. We walked down the street and saw nothing. We walked back up the street against the opposite wall, pretty much feeling the wall for a secret passage. We found one. There was a tiny-ass little alley that was barely wide enough for one person. If you’ve ever seen In Bruges, it was probably one of Yuri’s “alcoves.” No, we didn’t murder anyone….this time.
We walked into the tiny alley and lo, there was Le Garre. What’s special about Le Garre is two things. First, their beer is like 13% alcohol by volume. Second, their pub is the only place you can drink it. They brew it on-site, and they don’t sell it outside their restaurant. You are limited to three because they don’t want people falling on their asses from their strong beer.
As we walked in, we saw Walker heading towards the bathroom. He told us to go upstairs. We sat down with Ema and chatted with her for a bit until Walker joined us. Will and I joined them for a round of the house beer (it’s delicious). Ema had to leave to catch her train, but Walker stayed with us.
We ended up discussing the spirit animals thing with them. Walker was enthused. He explained that he believes that life is a river of Chi, and sometimes, people build dams that block that river. He calls them “chi beavers.” Also, he is one. In addition to being a chi beaver, Walker was drunk. This made him hilarious.
Walker, Will, and I headed to the Choco Story, a Belgian chocolate factory with a tour. We got free chocolate when we entered (tasty), but what was better were their ubiquitous Playmobile displays. They used Playmobile for everything from Cortez murdering Aztecs to the farmer who invented milk chocolate to a trip to the dentist. Check out this chick feeding a cow beer (that’s how you make chocolate in Belgium).
Happy cows come from California? DRUNK COWS COME FROM BELGIUM.
They also had this crazy chocolate mascot thing. He gets crushed by machines and stolen by monkeys.
He also gets possessed by HUMAN BEINGS.
After the tour, there was an exhibit of chocolate statues. They had everything from ChocObama to crazy Russian rabbit doom things holding cheese.
There's actually a sign saying you can't eat the President
We saw a demonstration of how to make filled pralines. The demonstration was in Dutch, French, and English all at once. The lady said every sentence in all three languages, so it took forever. However, this was okay because we got to eat delicious Belgian pralines at the end.
After the Choco-Story, the three of us went to Chocolate Line, a Belgian chocolate store. Walker bought us a bacon chocolate and a vodka-lime chocolate. Look at these things.
BACON!
RASPBERRY!
I had a raspberry cream and vanilla something (see above) and some other stuff on top of those. I just grabbed things that looked tasty. Finally, it was time to go to Medard. We sat down, and the lady asked us if we wanted our spaghetti small or large. I glanced at a guy who had a large. I have terrible spatial skills, and I couldn’t see the depth of his bowl. It didn’t look very big. You know what is big? A GIANT CHOCOLATE ANTEATER.
Because why the fuck not?
Well, going back to the pasta, I was wrong. Oh, how very wrong I was. It was probably the largest portion of food I have ever been served. Will had a small, the equivalent of a large portion at most restaurants. This doom spaghetti destroyed my life. It was tasty, though. I couldn’t even finish it, which is absurd for me. I eat everything in its entirety. I’m kind of like the Sarlacc in the Great Pit of Carkoon.
On our way back to the hostel, we saw the hat that will make me awesome. Check this shit out. You can see me “wearing” it in the reflection. It totally makes me awesome, right?
banana duct taped to it nor turtle orb
I decided to join up with a pub crawl from our hostel. Will had a beer with me before the pub crawl left. I spent most of the night with these three Mancunian (that means they’re from Manchester) girls, Jess (who told Will her name was Mary), Chantel, and a girl who Will claims name is Liz. I thought her name was Amy. I think Will might be right.
Anyways, we went to a bunch of bars. I spent some time with Walker, and some time with a REALLY DRUNK Irishman named Sean. Sean was very friendly. After the pub crawl was over, I helped Liz (I still kinda think it might have been Amy, but we’ll go with Liz) walk her two friends back to the hostel. Liz and I then went to The Crash, the rock bar that was our second stop.
Liz and I had a beer and talked about all kinds of stuff. Movies came up a lot, but this makes sense because she wants to go into film. Smart girl. After our beer, the two of us went back to the hostel.
Will’s Corner
Apparently, Andy has eaten a few too many of the goldfish in his turtle pond and has inherited their memory capacity.
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Dear Joe,
You are the ultimate party weapon to defeat North Korea…and their lack of having a good time. Go forth, our son.
Love,
Will and Andy
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