And One for Necropyrobeastiality
Today, we decided to go to Brasov’s castle area. Going with us were two Americans, a guy from California who got fired by Wachovia when Wells Fargo bought it and a dude from Phoenix. We have no idea what their names were, so we just referred to them as Wachovia and Phoenix.
Brasov has two main castles: Peles (pronounced “Pelesh,” like how Brasov is “Brashov”) and Bran. Our driver was this crazy Romanian dude named George. He didn’t speak much English, but he was pretty friendly. First, he drove us to Peles Castle. Peles is pretty on the outside.
IT IS CRAZY ON THE INSIDE.
Yeah, that’s all wood-work. Everything is fucking crazy woodwork.
It was pretty nuts.
There were some really rude Turkish people on our tour. They were on an English-speaking tour, and one of them kept loudly translating everything into Turkish…over the guide’s voice. Next to the guide. Yeah. They were also taking pictures without the 50 lei license. They were also using a flash even after being told not to (it’s forbidden because it damages the antiques). Furthermore, when they got caught taking pictures and were asked to pay for the license, they just said “No.” Wachovia got really pissed at them, but he’s also Armenian, so that was probably to be expected.
After Peles, we went to a Romanian restaurant for lunch. George ordered for us because no one spoke English. Will had grilled chicken, and I had an omelette and some weird Romanian polenta dish. Will and I also had a Romanian beer called Ursus. It has an awesome logo. It’s a bear. WITH A CROWN. Look at how kingly this bear is.
Bears. We drink them.
After lunch, we went to Bran Castle. Bran is pretty famous because a lot of people call it “Dracula’s Castle.” It is true that Vlad Tepes did own the castle, and he did sleep there. He slept there one night. He also took a shit there. You can tell how important it is because of its gorgeous interior, way more awesome than Peles.
George then took us back to the hostel. At this point, it was kind of late in the day. We watched some Deadliest Warrior online (Vlad Tepes vs. Sun Tzu, of course) and hung out with those Germans we had met in Budapest. One of them, Ben, said that we have to tell him when we get to Berlin. He swore an oath that if we did, we would “have a feast, and then drink a lot of beer.” Will and I liked that plan.
We also learned that I am Will’s bookie. He has never challenged anyone to a drinking contest. However, he has competed in several. I set up his matches; he kind of just shrugs and goes along with it. I need to start collecting bets (and taking a bookie’s commission, of course).
Will and I cooked a late dinner. To light the stove, we used my lighter that I had bought in Dublin to light stoves. However, one person noticed I have a lighter. The thing about Europe is everyone smokes. Everyone. Thus, everyone started asking me for my lighter. Constantly. All night. Forever. I couldn’t go five minutes without someone asking for it. I need the butane to keep lighting stoves, so we went to bed early…mainly to avoid people asking me for my lighter more.
Will’s Corner
No gypsy encounters as of yet. Maybe Andy doesn’t make the best bait.
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Dear Joe,
The world is your castle. You can shit wherever you want.
Love,
Will and Andy
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