And One for the Trains That Take Us Everywhere
We got up stupidly early and took a train from Beaune to Geneva, Switzerland. We got saved by another attractive French girl who told us the train was going to split. The following is going to seem facetious, but I mean it in absolute seriousness: Geneva seemed very…neutral. It didn’t seem to take a stand in any way. There was every sort of tree (deciduous, tropical, evergreen, etc.), every sort of path (boardwalk, sidewalk, bike path, meandering path, straight path, etc.). However, they were all together at the same time. Like, they were next to each other so you could walk on the one that made you feel better. This sort of thing was the case with everything there.
We got a crappy meal, and then we moseyed into a chocolate store. The rumors about Swiss chocolate are true! It’s super fucking tasty. We got milk chocolate, and it was delicious. We then went to the Swiss Army Knife store and drooled over things. I got a small one that had a knife, a scissor, and a nail clipper. I already have a multitool so I didn’t need a crazy one. I tried to convince Will to get one with something along the lines of a steak knife, but he wouldn’t go for it. What a jerk. Said something about liking his Buck Knife better. He has a fetish for that thing, I swear.
We walked towards the botanical garden, since that’s pretty much the only thing to see in Geneva other than a GIANT water fountain (it looks like a geyser) and the Red Cross Museum (closed on Tuesdays, much to our dismay). We walked along the water. It was blue. In fact, it was obscenely blue. It was probably the only thing Geneva took a real stance on. It wanted its water blue, and it wanted its water VERY blue.
It was about a 2 kM walk just to get to the park. We got about halfway through the park, and Will just wanted to sit down and read. I was determined to go to the botanical garden because it was the only attraction in Geneva that was open other than some modern art museum (I don’t like modern art). I made it. It was pretty cool, but also pretty weird. They had deer, peacocks, and stuff. I didn’t see any peahens, though. A peacock leapt at me. Scary!
There was also a huge-ass greenhouse with a CACTUSLAND inside. I read in the historical rose garden for a while, and I walked past a very strange carousel with odd animals. None of them were horses; it was fish, giant ants, and stuff. It was also loudly playing Sultans of Swing by the Dire Straits. Odd. Also, there was this strange bathroom that was like a club. I felt as though I was about to hear techno.
We then took another train to Milan. It was supposed to be non-stop, but we had to change twice. We ended up following some American kid who was following an Italian dude. We had a strange series of trains. It was a really nice train, followed by a really gross train, followed by another really nice train. The Swiss Alps were CRAZY. I couldn’t get any good pictures of them through the window because the one time they were close, I was too slack-jawed to grab my camera. SO MANY GRAPES. Here's my attempt at the alps:
Sidenote: I got a Kindle from my uncle for graduation with a note that said, “You’ll need this in Europe.” He was correct. I’ve been blowing through books, and it’d be super inconvenient to carry all that weight. It’s also been helpful for guidebooks. However, it has recently become essential. I discovered by accident that it can access the internet through 3G networks for free. I’ve used it to e-mail hostels and stuff. For example, on the train to Milan, I e-mailed the hostel two hours before we got there saying we’d be getting in late. Hooray!
Speaking of the hostel, we arrived in Milan. Everything in Milan is huge. The train station is massive and terrifying. I felt like I was in a submarine base or something. We got directions from a member of the (heavy) military presence and went on our way to the hostel. We finally got there. There was a big garden surrounded by a metal fence. We figured out the intercom system, and they let us into the garden area.
While looking at the intercom system, we also saw that there was another hostel called “Scream Hostel.” As Will and I made our way through the garden, I made it known that I would like to, if at all possible, avoid the Scream Hostel. We entered a building with a huge black, blue, and white marble lobby. It was totally empty, devoid of signs, decorations, instructions, furniture, etc. There was only a black marble staircase and an (empty) concierge desk with absolutely nothing on it. It was creepy as fuck.
Will and I ascended the stairs. As we did, I mentioned to Will that we were probably in the Scream Hostel and were probably going to get murdered. He agreed, but seemed unconcerned. At the top of the stairs, we saw two doors. On the left was Sweet Hostel, our hostel. On the right was the door for Scream Hostel. Sweet Hostel’s sign had happy clipart of a bed and a shower. Scream Hostel had a haunted house, ghosts, graveyards, etc. We went into Sweet Hostel.
We’re staying in a huge dorm that was supposed to be 24 beds, but they put us in the 11 bed room. I made cool friends from Venezuela and Mexico. Will fell asleep.
Will’s Corner
Who in their right mind makes you pay the same price for air conditioning as you do for your room. Wtf.
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Dear Joe,
RAAAAAAAAAGE!
Love,
Will and Andy
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