And One for America

And One for America

            Today, we switched to a weird hostel called the Hostel of Peace and Love.  It was weird and sketchy.  On the bright side, it had a kitchen, a pub in the basement (that we never used because Paris is stupidly expensive), and it WASN’T a fifth-floor walk-up, like our previous hotel.  Oh wait, yes it was.  Paris hostels are apparently all 5^th floor walk-ups.  Jerks.

            Our first stop was the Hotel des Invalides, which is home to Napoleon’s Grave, the Musée des l’Armee (I think I’m spelling that right), and a museum for WW1/WW2.  My father highly recommended the Musée des l’Armee.  He said that it had a ton of awesome weapons and armor (my father and I collect old swords) and, even better, windows into their storeroom.  When you see cool swords in a museum, you think, “Oh man, the fact that they own that is insane.”   What you don’t realize is they actually have a ton of the things, just stacked up in the back.  This place had enough polearms and armor to fully equip an entire pike division…with stuff to spare.  Oh, and swords for them too.  It was awesome.

            Also, they had gunswords.  A lot of gunswords.  If you are not familiar, a gunsword is a sword that has a gun on it.  They also had a gunspear.  And a shotgunsword. 

            We then went to the WW1/WW2 museum.  It was pretty cool.  There was a gun rack that was split between Russia and Germany.  The U.S. had its own gun rack…of the same size.  Aww yeah.  USA!  While looking at uniforms, I noticed that the American uniform had a sidearm.  I pointed this out to Will, mentioning that I hadn’t seen any other uniforms with sidearms.  “Now that I think about it, that’s right!” replied Will.

            As Will and I were walking along, I said, “Hey Will, you know who else I bet would have a sidearm?  The Germans.”  “Whoa, I had just been thinking that.”  To our non-surprise, lo, the Germans had sidearms.  Only the Germans and the U.S. thought they soldiers needed two guns in addition to their knives.  Everyone else only had the knives as supplements.  USA!

            After that, we went to Napoleon’s Tomb.  It was so over-the-top gaudy and huge, you might have said he had a Napoleon Complex.  HOHOHOHOHO!  But seriously, look at this place.

            We saw the Eiffel Tower in the relatively near distance.  Will was super hungry and had already seen it, so he didn’t want to go.  From the distance we were at, it didn’t look any more impressive than a cell phone tower, so he almost convinced me with his food-temptations.  However, I stayed strong, and we went to the tower.  I have to admit, it was pretty big.  Big is cool.  Not as romantic as everyone says, but maybe you have to see it at night or something. 

            On our way back to the hostel, Will and I booked tickets to Mont St. Michel, over on the Normandy/Brittany border.  We grabbed some foodstuffs in a supermarket and went to the hostel.  When we got there, we made mac and cheese with emmenthal francais, comte, and cheddar.  We also fried potatoes, onions, and red peppers with herbs, spices, etc.  While we were cooking, this Irish dude came down and asked if we smelled pot in the bathroom.  I went to the bathroom, and it just smelled like cleaning fluids to me.  He told us that it reeked of “pollen,” some weird drug made with tulip resin or something.  He also informed us that he dealt drugs in Ireland, and he knew pollen when he smelled it.  We were like, “Okay…” and he left.  We then shared our leftovers with two random Americans instead of creepy Irish drug dealer guy.  Will started cleaning dishes, and I went searching for eggs for the next morning.  Four supermarkets were closed, and then I got lost in the Paris streets.  I accidentally found a bodega-type thing that sold me eggs, and somehow got back to the hostel.  Hooray!

            After dinner, we went to our room.  It was SUPER SKETCHY.  As I said earlier, it was a 5^th floor walk-up.  It had a triple bunkbed that squeaked whenever anyone in any of the three beds moved (like, at all).  It also had a half-see-through shower.  Half of the door was fogged so you had privacy, but the other half of it was just regular glass, so unless you were literally hugging the wall, people could just watch you shower if they wanted to.  I think Will watched me.  Secretly.  From the shadows.  But maybe not.

I saw there was a new suitcase in the room – we had a roommate!  I checked the tag, and saw it was someone named “Dina.”  I told Will that I thought it was the red-headed girl downstairs, and we were right!  Dina was a very pretty German girl from a town that I couldn’t pronounce if I tried.  She was visiting Paris for a K-Pop concert (that’s Korean Pop, if you’re not in the know).  We ended up talking with her until like 2:00am, even though we had to get up at 7:00.  We mainly talked about how America is awesome and stupid, but doesn’t care because we have nukes.  We also asked her about what Germans do on the internet.  She told us that “[They] have the lolcats” but don’t like them as much as Americans do.  Apparently, she mainly stalks her favorite Korean Pop Stars.  Luckily, she now also stalks us!  She asked to read our blog, and now we have an official reader who isn’t Liz! Hooray!  Hi, Dina!

Will’s Corner

            I’d rather blind myself. Permanently.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Joe,

            You can dance if you want to.  You can leave your friends behind…but don’t take her home, she’s got The Clap.

Love,

Will and Andy